can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize