I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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