i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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