yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
