So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
