haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
