$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
