CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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