Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
