Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
