weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
