You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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