I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
