Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize