My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
