Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
