you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
third nipple confirmed
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
