Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He uses pillows to masturbate.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
