I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
my poor anus
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
