Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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