Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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