SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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