One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
