Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
