just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
