Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
