We're like a lot better than the average bears
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
