So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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