cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
