she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize