I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
