what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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