Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize