I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Terrible idea I love it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
