He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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