i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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