I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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