so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
