Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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