sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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