Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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