my vag is so smooth its legendary
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
