remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
