i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
