Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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