Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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