i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
