Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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