He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
