you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
