I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
MIDGETS
????
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
