I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
