it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
