My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
