you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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