So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
