none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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