dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
