I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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