If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My life is pants optional.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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