Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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