WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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