I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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