i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
