we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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