I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
