found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
