somebody snuck up and got me drunk
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We need to get me chipped asap
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
