Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize