Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
